Lead me to the Cross

This past weekend I went to the lake with some of my best friends from college. A couple of times one of my friends noticed that I seemed more quiet and reserved since coming back from Africa. She was right, I have actually recognized it about myself as well. But the truth is, I have just had so much on my heart lately. Over the last few weeks, I have found myself faced down before God just praying for His wisdom and for his guidance in my life. I so desperately want His will and not my own, however when faced with such life altering decisions, sometimes its hard to differentiate His voice among the numerous voices surrounding me. Especially when certain voices are those with whom I have a great deal of respect. 

What do you do when God may be asking you to do something that seems crazy maybe even irrational by worldly standards? It is really hard...lately there have been a lot of questions, a lot of tears, and uncertainty but if I sit with it long enough I hear "Trust Me...." And isn't this how we were designed to live? Constantly on our knees, looking to him, seeking His will, and searching for our security in Him alone? I know why I don't put myself in these positions more often...because it is scary and uncomfortable to not know how things are going to turn out. But the reality of it is, no matter how cushioned I think I am...I still don't know how things are going to turn out!  So why am I scared? Jesus says throughout scripture "Do not be afraid." 

So I cling to the fact that I am His...and it's not about me, everything is about Him. He will make my paths straight as long as I am keeping my eyes on Him. I know that He loves me and has a plan for me. What an awesome God that he reveals Himself in His time not to frustrate or worry me but because He longs for a relationship with me. He wants me to trust Him so that he can just be who He is...the Mighty King of all creation! 

So when I'm tired, confused, lonely or lost, its often because im trying to live out of my own flesh. God lets me fight those little battles to remind me of my need for Him....He leads me to the Cross where my soul finds rest...