King of Kings

The Gospel of John has always been my favorite book of the Bible. I have to say that I recently noticed something I never have before. (I love how no matter how many times you read Scripture, there is always something to learn as it is God's living word!) But I read something recently that I just found to be really encouraging. Not only does Jesus tell his disciples that when he ascends into Heaven that they will do miracles greater than He, but even when he was with them He let them take part in His miracles. 

When Jesus turned the water to wine in Chapter 2, he could have just said the word or blinked his eyes and it would have instantly been wine....but no, he said to his servants, "Fill the jars with water." The people got to take part in his miracle.

Later in Chapter 6 when Jesus fed the 5000, he could have given all of the instructions and fed everyone himself miraculously placing food in front of each person, but no he told his disciples, "have the people sit down." When everyone had all had enough to eat he again said to them "gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted." The disciples did not just stand there and watch, they were an active part of Jesus provision. 

God does not need us for His purposes, he is the King of Kings. He created the Earth and everything in it. It all belongs to Him. But how awesome that our Maker wants us to be a part of his story. He has not changed he is still performing miracles all the time and I think he longs for us to trust him enough to be a part of His glory! I hope you feel inspired to get with Jesus and do the "impossible"!! :)  

Mother May I?

Over the the last few months I have felt a bit like my life has been "on pause" or "in a time of preparation." I am working at a job I know is temporary, living at home with my parents, and in constant thought and prayer about the future. The emotions one experiences in a time such as this run from sky high to deep lonely lows. In preparing for my next steps back to Africa, I have often felt like I am in the middle of the game "Mother May I?" There have been times where I have taken leaps forward, but only to then be met with two steps backward. Then another few hops ahead oh wait take two ballerina turns the opposite direction. I wish I had been able to blog about all the ups and downs I have faced, but the truth is I have been trying to be intentional about keeping this journey private. As I seek the Lord and His will for me, I have found it best to minimize the number of voices that will try to compete with His. With that being said, I do have a great group of precious people in my life who I do go to for wisdom and counsel. People who truly know my heart and who I know are committed to praying for the will of God and are not going to only tell me what I want to hear. In John 10:4 it says "His sheep follow him because they know his voice." God speaks to me in many ways, but one of them is through these dear brothers and sisters who love me and hold me accountable. 

 A revelation I have recently realized is that living out these days until I get back to Africa is not living at all and it is not what God would have me do. I love Africa and I have a heart for the children there, but that should not be my life's passion. My ministry is every second of every day no matter where I am. I am called to LOVE. I am humbled as I am constantly renewed and restored by his grace. I am reminded that I cannot fully comprehend his greatness. Be careful because when you start to think you have got it figured out, he will peel away what we think he wants from us only to draw us into a deeper more intimate relationship with him. That is what I think is happening to me. During this time in Atlanta, I believe he is teaching me to surrender to Him in every area of my life.  I love how Jesus is constantly molding me, shaping me, and teaching me to be more like Him.  

Tin Roofs to Tin Lizzys

For the past few weeks I have been working at Tin Lizzys trying to make some money before I head back to Africa. First, can I just say that I think everyone should have to work in the service industry at at least one point in their life?! I look at restaurants so differently now. It has been a lot of fun but at times very stressful! I have learned a lot about people and how specific they can be about what they want. "Extra this...." "Hold that...." "Bring this on the side...." And unless you want to embark on World War Three you better keep the diet cokes coming! 

Working in the restaurant business has been quite eye-opening. It's just a little bit different than ministry. :) Often I find myself in the kitchen with the mexican cooks and cleaning staff. They bring me back to my heart for the Lord. They, like the people in Africa, are so unassuming and so humbling to be around. 

Jose is our main cook, his wife Dalia buses the tables, his younger brother Chava is the second cook, and Dalia's nephew, Dario also helps in the kitchen. When we speak to them in English, they respond in Spanish, so communication is fair at best. But I find that I connect with them the most. There is just something to be said about having to relate with people in ways other than talking. 

The four of them along with Jose and Dalia's three year old son Jonathan all live in one apartment. They came to the US three years ago for a "better life" but when I ask them if they like America- they tell me they would rather be at home in Mexico. Why is it that these people who come from places like Africa and Mexico where there is nothing and no opportunity want so badly to go back? 

Chava is 17 years old, he has made it to America, he could build his whole life here, achieve the American dream...but he longs to go back. Why? Maybe because he left behind his parents, ten brothers and sisters, and a community that despite their own desperate situation reaches out to those whose somehow appears worse. Perhaps Chava, who has come from a place that hasn't smothered him in lies and false images that money and stuff brings happiness, sees something that we so often don't and that is the importance of family and togetherness. 

His small family here is never together at the same time because when one of them is not working then the other one must be. They work hard and often but not for themselves, they send the little money they make back to Mexico to help support those who are most important to them. They have the least glamorous jobs: cooking, washing dishes, bussing messy extra food left on tables, yet they are the least likely to get irritated or frustrated. They simply go about their job, setting us up to do ours better. They inspire me and help me to remember what is real. 

"Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." 

Mark 10:43-45    

Step by sweet step

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. 

Psalm 119:105

This verse speaks volumes to me right now. God has been so faithful in directing my steps these past few weeks. He is opening doors and closing doors and affirming me in the direction I should go. I am so incredibly thankful. I have to say that though some closed doors have brought heartache, I have to be grateful that God has answered my prayer. If I truly want to follow Him and surrender my personal desires, than I have to be prepared to accept his authority over my life. I have to trade my tears for the hope of His plan which is greater than any plan I can devise on my own. Sometimes it gets hard because I become impatient and want to know immediately the outcome of certain situations, but it is in these days, weeks, months of waiting that I am trying to grow into a woman of wisdom and patience. I want to become more like my African friends who rely on Him for their every need. They rely on Him when they see Him and when they don't. I also want to always remember to be grateful. Today I am especially grateful for: 

God's sovereignty

faithful prayer warriors

financial provision

health and protection

and an amazing Shepherd who has divine goodness and mercy throughout my life and forever!

Lead me to the Cross

This past weekend I went to the lake with some of my best friends from college. A couple of times one of my friends noticed that I seemed more quiet and reserved since coming back from Africa. She was right, I have actually recognized it about myself as well. But the truth is, I have just had so much on my heart lately. Over the last few weeks, I have found myself faced down before God just praying for His wisdom and for his guidance in my life. I so desperately want His will and not my own, however when faced with such life altering decisions, sometimes its hard to differentiate His voice among the numerous voices surrounding me. Especially when certain voices are those with whom I have a great deal of respect. 

What do you do when God may be asking you to do something that seems crazy maybe even irrational by worldly standards? It is really hard...lately there have been a lot of questions, a lot of tears, and uncertainty but if I sit with it long enough I hear "Trust Me...." And isn't this how we were designed to live? Constantly on our knees, looking to him, seeking His will, and searching for our security in Him alone? I know why I don't put myself in these positions more often...because it is scary and uncomfortable to not know how things are going to turn out. But the reality of it is, no matter how cushioned I think I am...I still don't know how things are going to turn out!  So why am I scared? Jesus says throughout scripture "Do not be afraid." 

So I cling to the fact that I am His...and it's not about me, everything is about Him. He will make my paths straight as long as I am keeping my eyes on Him. I know that He loves me and has a plan for me. What an awesome God that he reveals Himself in His time not to frustrate or worry me but because He longs for a relationship with me. He wants me to trust Him so that he can just be who He is...the Mighty King of all creation! 

So when I'm tired, confused, lonely or lost, its often because im trying to live out of my own flesh. God lets me fight those little battles to remind me of my need for Him....He leads me to the Cross where my soul finds rest...

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

My plane touched down in Atlanta last Monday and my life has been spinning ever since. The first thing I see as I am walking toward baggage claim is two security gaurds riding alongside each other on bicycles wearing helmets. I laugh out loud to myself and wish I was with someone to say "I am definitely back in America." :)

The transition has been ok, fortunately jet lag has not really effected me. But I am experiencing a little reverse culture shock. The other day my mama, sister, and I went Christmas shopping and I realized just how quickly and easily one can slip back into that consumeristic mindset. I saw this dress and it was like something came over me and in my head I was like "i NEED that dress!" I started thinking about the shoes I would wear with it, the jewelry..oh that would look so good... I resisted buying the dress and as soon as I got to the car I was fine and back to the mentality of I have way too much stuff already. But it did not take long to slip back into all the temptations we face here in our culture to have something new, to get dressed up and look pretty.  

I know many of you are wondering what my next step is... And as of now I am not entirely positive. The one thing I do know for sure is I will be returning to Africa, I am just not sure when. My heart is for the country of Zimbabwe. I know it is in the news a lot right now and with the violent tactics of the thug militias and cholera outbreaks all over the country it makes it a scary place. But what the news does not report is that 1 out of every 3 children are orphans! And everyday at least 20 corpses of newborn babies are found thrown away or even flushed down the toilets and that is just in Harare ALONE! Unless you have access to USD or the South African Rand it is impossible to buy even the simplest of necessities, they can't farm because they don't have seeds. They are STARVING! Thousands of orphans...NO FOOD! 

During my last week in Arusha I was able to attend a conference with Young Life leaders from all over Africa. By His grace, six leaders from Zimbabwe were there. I had met all of them during my time at Chris and Norma's farm in 2007. It was a beautiful reunion! We talked a lot about the situation on the ground and what some of the purest needs are. Nkosi, 23 year old who grew up as a child head of the house himself said what the children need even before food is just someone who cares. He said the people feel like the world has turned their backs on Zimbabwe. Even while he was in Tanzania, all people wanted to talk about was the inflation rate and cholera....no one really asked "How are YOU doing?" 

Please join me in praying for this country. Pray that the Holy Spirit would nudge the hearts of other African leaders to step up and challenge President Robert Mugabe. Pray for courage for all of the people living under these harsh conditions and that they would continue to hold on. Pray for the mamas and widows who are doing the best they can with the overwhelming numbers of children in their villages. Pray for the NGOs who are still there trying to make a difference. And lastly pray mightily that Jesus would pour His grace upon the whole country; that he will bring his people back from captivity; he will bring health and healing to Zimbabwe and let the people enjoy abundant peace and security just like he did for Israel! 

Have a Merry Christmas and may you see His blessings always!

Nkosi, Sindie, Lims, Nkotula, Quentin, and Patson

My Heroes!!!!

Lusaka, Zambia

Hallie has gone back to America and I am now flying solo...I am in Lusaka, Zambia staying with Chris and Norma Ferguson. I met Chris on my first trip to Africa, where he spoke to our group about the horrific conditions of his home country Zimbabwe. His bold words of the basically negligent western world and our obsessions with ourselves were extremely convicting. He challenged us with TRUTH and filled our hearts with the words of Jesus where he calls us to the poor and suffering.

He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God. Proverbs 14:31

Last summer, I was blessed enough to go and visit Zimbabwe and see for myself the state of the country; and it is most definitely a struggling nation. But it was wonderful to be there...I met Chris' wife Norma and spent an incredible week on their farm, feeding orphans, transporting people to clinics, and praying with the dying. It was heavy...but I felt God there in a way I had never felt Him before.

Chris and Norma now live in Zambia due to the crisis and I will be here with them for two more weeks! We have visited three orphanages here and having lived in Africa for most of their lives, they have a plethora of knowledge to help me with Takes A Whole Village. I am so grateful that God has brought them into my life.

I will be home in December in time for Christmas and I look forward to sharing more with each of you in person. I continue to thank God for all of you...what an amazing group of supporters...im humbled.